She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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