he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize