I'm sorry my penis didn't work
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
