i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
