Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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