is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
