pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
