remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
