White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
