too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
