I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
