The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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