I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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