he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize