they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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