I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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