no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I CAN MOONWALK!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
