i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We got so high we made milksteak
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
