Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize