I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize