Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
