Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
