She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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