just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
sarcasm needs its own font
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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