i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
