So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
