he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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