some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
