She announced her abortion via fbk
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize