She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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