The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
