wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
