can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
