just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
