are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
