bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize