My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
