You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
