i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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