the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
