I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
