Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
