you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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