I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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