It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
