Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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