how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
