I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
