the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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