Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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