man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
