the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize