my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
