i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
