Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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