He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
