You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
