Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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