I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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